Love Without Boundaries
by TheMusicIsLove254
Summary: I promised that I wouldn't do this to myself, but like the love sick teenager I am, I had to go back to him, because in the end, we are all each other will ever have. And our love knows no boundaries. EClare.
1. Maddie

**A/N: So this is like my fourth EClare story and I'm working on all of them at once. But I hope you like this one; it's a little different than the others.**

Clare POV:

I was broken, I have had my share of pain, I thought that I could withstand anything that came hurtling my way. But I was kidding myself. Now I was here all alone, because I was too afraid to admit my weakness. Eli was at college in New York and had no idea what was going on. We broke up because we couldn't possibly stay together with him so far away. Alli and I weren't friends anymore because of something so stupid. And that stupid thing was me ignorantly to kill myself, and no it wasn't because of Eli, my pain went much deeper than that. I had gone to many therapists but none of them could put me back together again. I tried to hide my pain, but everyone saw the hurt. Adam was the only true friend I had; he told me that he would never leave, that he would comfort me.

Now it was the day Eli was supposed to come home to visit. But I couldn't face him, I just couldn't. I didn't want to show him how I've fell apart at the seams.

I lay on my bed, staring out the window when Adam came through the door.

"Hey, how ya doing?" He said as he sat across from me.

"Same as yesterday, Adam," I sighed.

"Eli's coming home today." He said, making small talk.

"I know, don't remind me."

"You have to tell him what's been going on."

"Adam, please don't start this."

"Just, please talk to him; you don't even have to tell him. He's going to be at my house later today." He pleaded.

"Fine, Fine. I'll come."

.

.

.

.

I was walking in the blistering cold, towards Adam's house. He had texted me telling me that Eli was all ready at his house.

I took my time, putting deep thought into every step I took. I finally ended up on Adam's front porch, still wondering if I was ready to see Eli again, I mean it had been six month since we last saw each other.

I walked through the door and entered the living room. Adam was sitting on the couch; Eli was on the love seat, with a mysterious girl at his side. He looked the same. Still wore all black, with the occasional splash of grey.

On the other hand, I have never seen this girl before. She was actually pretty. Her chocolate brown locks went past her shoulders, she had dark blue eyes. She looked more like Eli's type than I was.

I slowly walked over to Adam and sat by him.

Eli smiled and said, "Hey Clare,"

"Hi, long time no talk." I weakly smiled.

"Yea, I know I'm sorry for that, I've just been so caught up wi-" I cut him off.

"No I get it, school work. So, who is this?" I said glancing at the girl sitting with Eli.

"Oh, sorry. Guys this is Maddie, my girlfriend." He said.

Just hearing those words made me sick to my stomach. I ran out of the room, out into the back yard. I went to sit in a lawn chair beside the pool.

I was such a wimp, I couldn't handle the blunt truth, which Eli had all ready gotten over me, and there was nothing I could do about it.

**A/N: What did you think of the first chapter? Should I keep going?**


	2. You love me? Then why are you with her?

**A/N: Sorry, I haven't updated lately, hope you enjoy this chapter!**

I was sitting outside for a few minutes, until Eli came outside and sat next to me.

"What's wrong Clare? Are you not happy to see me?" He said.

"I am, I just wasn't expecting for her to be here. Does what we had, mean nothing to you?" I said as I felt a tear threaten to drop at the corner of my eye.

"It meant, and it sill means everything to me."

"Oh really? I hadn't noticed! We break up and suddenly you don't even call anymore and you show up with another girl in your arms."

"I never meant for it to be this way." He said quietly.

"Bullshit." I said.

"Clare, please, I'm only here for a few days and I don't want to spend the whole time fighting." He said looking into my eyes.

"Okay, but don't expect me to play nice with your little emo Barbie." I said as I got up and walked back into the house.

I went to sit with Adam once again.

"Sorry about that, I just needed some fresh air." I said smiling.

"So Clare, I hear you love to write, I'm a writer myself." Maddie said.

"Oh is that so?" I said raising my eyebrows.

"Yeah, in fact I'm majoring in English."

"Cool, maybe we can read each other's work someday soon."

"I look forward to it,"

"Aw, look, my two favorite girls are getting along." Eli said.

Maddie and I both rolled our eyes. I couldn't help but like her a lot more than I did when I got here.

We all spent about an hour catching up and sharing experiences. Of course I didn't tell Eli what was really going on.

"Well this has fun, but I have plans with my parents soon." I said.

I saw Eli's face drop at my comment.

"Bye Clare, I'll see you tomorrow?" He said with a hint of hope in his voice.

"Guess you will," I said quoting him, from the first time we met. He smirked at that.

"Maddie, it was really nice meeting you. Bye Adam." I said as I left.

I left the warm cozy house into the unwelcoming cold.

Maddie was a decent girl, but she still didn't seem like Eli's type, but what do I know? I'm not his type either. I would like to say that I don't think about him all the time, but then I'd be lying. I wondered if he thought about me as I did him.

I walked up to my doorstep, feeling oddly afraid to enter, like something evil awaited me beyond that door.

Suddenly, the door swung opened and revealed my mother.

"Clare, what are you doing out here? It's freezing. Now come on, you're going to be late for your appointment." She said walking outside and closing the door behind her.

"Dad's not coming?" I said as I sat in the passenger seat.

"Um, honey your dad's going to sit this one out. I think he's just been stressed out over the whole situation." She said pulling out of the driveway.

"_**He's **_stressed? Imagine what I'm felling! _**I'm **_going through this shit, not you guys. You don't have to go if you don't want to." I said as I lay back in my seat, crossing my arms over my chest.

"Clare, honey" I cut her off

"Don't, I don't want to talk about it anymore."

We finally arrived to our destination after 15 agonizing minutes of pure mind numbing silence.

I was here to see my therapist; she was the one that finally stuck. I liked her, she didn't judge, didn't put words in my mouth and turn mole hills into mountains, she just listened and evaluated.

I walked into her room, inhaling the sweet smell of apricots. She was sitting at her desk briskly typing on her keyboard.

"Hi, doctor Simmons." I said lying on the couch, where I was 3 times a week.

"Oh hello, Clare. How are you felling today? Anything new happen." She said sitting in her usual seat in a chair in front of me.

"Well, Eli came home from college today, with his girlfriend, Maddie." I said sighing.

I told her about everything, she even knew Adam's situation, that's just how much I trust her, even more than my own parents.

"Oh, how did that make you feel?" She said calmly.

"It made me feel like everything that we had, just evaporated. When we were dating, he told me that he would never want anyone else but me. But I guess he changed his mind. Us breaking up in the first place was just stupid." I said.

"Did it ever occur to you that he still cares? That because he doesn't have you by his side, like he used to; that he is trying to fill a void in his life that you used to feel."

"Wow, I never thought about that. Wait, then why wouldn't he just say that?" I questioned.

"Because, he doesn't want to admit how much he really needs you in his life. He'll come around, Clare, trust me." She said smiling.

**A/N: Sorry, this was kind of just filler. Feedback is love: D**


	3. Because I cant be with anyone else

Clare POV:

I got home from Dr. Simmons' office, and sat in my room, thinking about the session we had today. Maybe she was right; Eli would come around to see who he really wants.

I unexpectedly got a call from Eli.

"Where did you go with your parents?" He suddenly said, before I had a chance to speak

"Wow, nosey much?" I kid.

"I just wanted to know..." He trailed off.

I sighed, thinking about whether I should tell him about the last six months or not.

"That's actually what I wanted to talk to you about, but I want to tell you in person, alone"

"Okay, meet me at the park tomorrow around 2:30" He said.

"No, how about 1:30?"

"2:15" He argued

"1:30! And that's that." I said

"Someone's gotten a lot feistier since I've been gone. Okay 1:30"

I could practically feel him smirk.

"Kay, see you tomorrow, bye." I said getting ready to hang up.

"Wait! Don't you want to talk a little longer?" He pleaded

"What do you want to talk about then?" I sighed

"I don't know, I just haven't heard your voice in a really long time."

"I wonder whose fault that is" I said my voice thick with sarcasm.

"It's a two way street honey" He said

"Not when you don't answer your phone, or even call me back."

"Sorry" He mumbled

"Yea I know, I've heard that before"

"No, I mean it Clare. God, what happened to us?"

"You went away to college and forgot about me is what happened, Eli. While I wasted my time thinking about you so much, to the point where it drove me insane." I said on the verge of tears.

"Clare..."

"I don't want to get into this right now. I'll see you tomorrow."

With that, I hung up and attempted to get a good night's sleep, but I knew that wasn't going to happen anytime soon.

**.**

**.**

**.**

**.**

I woke up the next morning, not even wanting to get out of bed, so I just laid there, staring up at the ceiling until 1:15. I then got out of bed, took a shower and got dressed. I went downstairs, knowing I wouldn't see either of my parents and I was okay with that.

I arrived at the park and saw Eli sitting against our old tree looking as if he were in deep thought.

I went over to the tree and sat next to him. His head snapped up, and he smiled at me.

"Hey," He said.

"HI," I replied.

"So you wanted to talk to me about something?"

"Yea..." I continued. "I've been through a lot in the last six months, including trying to kill myself. But it wasn't because of you, it was everything, my parents, everything. See, when you were here, it wasn't so bad because you held me together, making sure I wouldn't break, but now, I don't have you anymore and it's like I'm falling apart, I'm a disaster. But I'm seeing a therapist, and its slowly getting better."

"Wow, that's a lot to take in. I would've never left for New York if I knew what it would do to you." He said, sounding apologetic.

"No, going to Yael is a great opportunity and you shouldn't give that up for me." I said quietly.

"How did you try to kill yourself?"

"I'm not sure you would want to know."

"It doesn't matter whether I want to or not, I need to." He pleaded.

"I...uh...tried to hang myself, but Darcy found me before I went completely unconscious."

"And no one thought to tell me?" He said raising his voice.

"No one could get a hold of you, eventually they stopped trying, but I didn't." I said.

He pulled me into a hug. "Clare, I am so, so sorry,"

"It's okay; I don't blame you for any of this, so you shouldn't hold yourself accountable." I said breaking away from the hug. "So how long have you been dating Maddie?" I said changing the subject.

"Only for about 3 months." he shrugged his shoulders.

"Do you love her?" I timidly asked.

"I think I'm beginning to."

My face fell at his comment; he was falling in love with another girl.

"But, I'll never love anyone as much as I love you, Clare." He said looking over at me.

"What?"

"You heard me." He smirked. "I know you're confused, why am I with Maddie, if I still love you. The whole reason I broke up with you was because I was starting to get the feeling that you didn't care anymore because you were becoming so distant. I thought that being with Maddie would take my mind off of you." He said mumbling the last sentence.

"I always cared, Eli. And I always will." I said leaning into his face, but slowly backing away, remembering that he wasn't mine to kiss.

"You want to kiss me," He teased.

"So what if I do?" I challenged him.

"I have a girlfriend, and I'm not the one to cheat." His face became serious.

"I wasn't asking you to, don't flatter yourself Elijah." I said.

"Do you remember the first time I made love to you, Clare?" He asked, not hesitating at all.

"Like it was yesterday," I sighed. "Why, do you?"

"Of course, I do. I remember you came over my house because your parents were engaged in world war III, we mostly watched T.V the whole time, but later in the night, you changed your mind. You told me you were ready, but I tried convincing you that you weren't; of course you won that battle. You were perfect, everything fell right into place, and at that moment, I couldn't have felt more happy in my life. It was everything that I could've hoped for."

I opened my mouth to say something, but no words came out. I had nothing to say.

"Why are we doing this to ourselves?" I suddenly questioned.

"What do you mean?" He said.

"Nothing, just forget it." I said crossing my arms in front of me.

"Spit it out!" He said, growing angry.

"You love me and I love you, so why aren't we doing anything about it!" I yelled.

"Maddie…." He trailed off.

"Fuck Maddie…"

"Whoa, I thought you liked her?"

"I'm not going to like anything that gets in the way of you and me being together." I said.

"Clare, stop being like this. I know you're upset, but I can't just leave Maddie like that. What am I supposed to tell her?" He shouted.

"Anything! I just know that I can't spend another second knowing that I can't kiss you, or hold you." I shouted right back at him.

At that moment our lips collided, giving me a rush I haven't felt in a while. I wanted that kiss to last forever, to be stuck in this precise moment for eternity, but eventually he pulled away.

He sighed, obviously feeling conflicted. Why was he being so hot and cold with me? Was I not the obvious choice? Or did he love Maddie a lot more than he led me to believe?

All of these questions and many more floated around in my mind. I wish he would just tell me what's really happening, because obviously there is a lot more to the story than he's telling me, or else it wouldn't be so damn hard for him to admit that he wants to get back together.

"You know Clare, I feel like I'm going insane." He said breaking the silence.

"How so?"

"Because, I can't bring myself to actually admit that I made a huge fucking mistake, all I could ever think about is you; but I tried so hard not to. And I keep thinking, if I'm with Maddie, then I wouldn't have to admit that to you. But Clare, I can't deny that I am unquestionably and irrevocably in love with you, I have been since the first day we met."

**A/N: Oh, how romantic. Will Clare take her chance to have Eli back like she always wanted, or will she leave him hanging, just like he did her?**

**I also decided that I won't update until I have a least five more reviews! So tell me what you thought, one, two words, I don't care. **


	4. Common Ground

_**A/n: So I don't really know where I'm going with this story. I really need a Beta, so if you would like to lend me some suggestions please don't hesitate to inbox me or leave a comment. I'm also the story is moving so slow, but I promise it'll pick up momentum soon.**_

Eli and I were lying against the tree holding each other. It was a perfect silence. Until Eli's phone started ringing.  
"hello" he answered.  
" where the he'll are you. You've been gone for two hours" I heard Maddie's voice on the other end.  
I didn't realize how long we've actually sat here.

" I told you that I was meeting Clare." he answered in a frustrated tone.  
" is there something you're not telling me Elijah?" she asked.  
" no why are you so mad, can't I hang out with my friend for a few hours?"  
" not when it's your ex, Elijah." she said emphasizing his name, obviously knowing that he hated that.  
" Maddie you do not own me. I will hang out with anyone I please." he said hanging up.  
He snapped his phone and his arms wrapped around me once again.

"Clare what do you think about me coming back to Toronto, permanently?" he said looking down at me.

"Eli don't even consider that, New York is a great opportunity for you."

" but it means nothing to me if I don't have you by my side"

" but it's not like you can leave in the middle of the year and transfer to another college.

"I'll just have to finish out the semester." He said stroking the side of my face, which sent chills down my spine.

"I thought you weren't the type to cheat?" I said skeptically.

"I'm not, and that's why I'm going to break up with Maddie, as soon as possible."

"I thought you said that you were starting to love her? You're confusing me all over again."

'I know, and I'm sorry about that, but I would just confuse you even more if I tried to explain to you what's going on in my mind," he laughed softly.

"I guess you're right. I just can't wait for things to be normal again." I sighed.

"Trust me Clare, what we had was far from normal." He said.

"Very true."

"So what's next?" Eli asked.

"Well that was a loaded question. What do you want to happen?" I said looking up at him.

"I'm not completely sure…." He said.

"Well, it's getting dark. Mind walking me home?" I said pushing myself off of the ground.

"With pleasure." He smirked.

We walked back to my house, hand in hand; acting as if all was right with the world. But deep down, we both knew that there was a lot we had to talk about before we were ever okay.

XXX

Eli and I were standing on my doorstep, staring into each other's eyes; I missed his mysterious and piercing green eyes.

He was inching closer to my face, painfully slow I might add.

"Oh just kiss me already." I said.

He laughed softly, crushing his lips against mine. A wave of excitement traveled though my body.

Suddenly I heard the front door open, oh great.

Someone cleared their throat and Eli and I parted. I looked over to see my mom standing in the doorway, arms crossed over her chest with a 'you've-got-some-explaining-to-do' look on her face.

"Hello, Mrs. Edwards." Eli said as he looked down, blushing.

My mom's gaze switched between Eli and me.

"Nice to see you again, Eli." My mom said sweetly.

"You too, Mrs. Edwards. Good night Clare." Eli said.

I nodded and watched as he walked down our driveway, on to the sidewalk.

I walked inside with my mom, knowing I was going to get an earful.

"Clare, what are you doing with Eli? I thought he broke your heart."

"Things change." I simply said as I ran upstairs to my room.

The first thing I did was turn on my laptop to see if Adam was on Facebook.

_**Clare Edwards: Hey Adam**_

It wasn't until five minutes after I messaged him, he replied back.

_**Adam Torres: Hi, Clare. Mind telling me what's up with you and Eli? I ran into Maddie at the Dot, and she mentioned how Eli acting really weird, he said he was at the park with you.**_

_**Clare Edwards: I'm not really sure yet. **_

I lied; I knew what was going on. Eli was going to leave Maddie to get back with me. He would leave another girl heartbroken because of me.

_**Adam Torres: Oh, well I 'm glad that you and Eli are speaking again.**_

Oh our lips were doing a lot more than speaking. But I couldn't exactly tell him that.

_**Clare Edwards: Yeah, me too. You know what; I think I'm going to turn in early. I'll see you tomorrow.**_

_**Adam Torres: Okay, goodnight Clare. **_____

_**Clare: Night, Adam.**_

I signed off and crawled into bed, feeling unnecessarily tired. I soon drifted off to sleep.

_**XXX**_

_**Eli POV: **_

I entered my home to see Cece and Maddie in the kitchen, laughing.

Maddie looked up at me and her bright smile was replaced by a grim stare.

"Well, I'll leave you two alone….." Cece said before exiting the kitchen.

"Have a nice time with Clare, Elijah?" She said placing her hands on her hips.

"You know what? I did, thanks for asking." I said sarcastically, knowing it would piss her off.

"What is up with you? As soon as you see your high school sweaty again, you're all chummy with her?"

"It's complicated, Okay? We have a lot of history, history that I don't want to let go of." I said sighing.

"What are you saying, Eli?" She said, tears brimming her eyes.

"I think you know what I'm saying." I said trying not to look her in the eyes.

I hated doing this, I hated breaking her heart. I really liked her, but I loved Clare so much it hurts.

"Yeah, I do but I want to hear you say it." She said her eyed boring into mine.

"I'm…..breaking up with you," I said looking at my feet.

"Just as I thought, I'm on a next plane out of here. Have a nice life, just hope I don't see you around campus." She said.

"Actually you won't after this semester is over." I said.

"What?"

"I'm moving back here to Toronto. I'm going to transfer."

"Wow, this girl has really got you screwed up." She said, storming upstairs.

I walked over to the couch and sat there for what must have been hours.

"Baby boy, what are you still doing down here?" Cece came and sat down next to me.

"Just thinking…." I said.

"Maddie told me what happened," she sighed.

I rolled my eyes, "Of course she did."

"I just hope you know what you're doing baby boy,"

"What do you mean?" I asked confused.

"Think about it." She said before traveling back up the stairs.

What the hell did that mean?

_**A/n: Leave a review and tell me what you thought!**_


	5. With you

**Eli POV:**

I continued to sit there, trying to decipher what Cece meant. Maybe I'm reading too much into it. That's it.

I got off the couch and headed to my room, to see Maddie packing her things with tears spilling out of her eyes. As soon as I stepped into the room, her head snapped up and all I saw in her eyes was pain and sorrow.

I went to sit next to her, neither of us saying a word.

"Am I that easy to give up?" She said, not bothering to look at me.

"Not at all."

"Then why are you doing all of…this for a high school girl? I thought we had something." She said.

"We did have something. I have said this many times before and I'll gladly say it again. I love Clare more than anything, and it took all of…..this to make me realize it. Let's face it Maddie, we were never happy. If we weren't fighting, we were giving each other the silent treatment."

She sighed and nodded her head.

"I'm just sorry I let it get this far."

"I don't need your pity Elijah," she said gathering her things and leaving.

Something suddenly started vibrating in my pocket and made me jump. I took my phone out and saw that Adam was calling me.

"What's up?" I answered.

"Are you getting back together with Clare?" He said, obviously upset.

"I think so why?"

"Well you better make sure, you already left her stranded her one time too many and she doesn't need you just showing up six months later only to break her heart again. Eli you're my best friend but I also care about Clare." He sighed.

"Don't worry about it Adam, I will make sure that Clare never gets hurt again."

"You better," he said in a lighter tone.

And then there was the dreaded awkward silence that had never occurred between Adam and me. It was eerie to be honest.

"Well, I'll see you later," I said quickly.

"Yup,"

"Bye, Adam."

"Bye, Eli,"

With that we both hung up. Where we becoming that distant? I wish things weren't so complicated. It seems like everything is my fault. I left Clare and Adam and never kept in touch. Now where has that gotten us?

_**.**_

_**.**_

_**Clare POV: **_

It was about midnight when I heard a clinking noise, it sounded like something was getting thrown against my window. I hurried over to my bay window to see Eli sitting on a tree branch just outside my window; his feet swinging back and forth.

I anxiously unlocked and opened the window for him to enter my room.

"What are you doing here, it's midnight," I whispered.

He went over to my bed dove in and held my bear that had been lying on my bed tightly against his chest.

"What no, nice to see you again, kiss, nothing?" He said faking a hurt face.

I giggled and lay next to him.

"So what brings you here Goldsworthy?" I said snatching my bear from him.

He made a face back at me.

"Hey, that bear and I were just getting to know each other." He said snatching it back. "And I just wanted to see you; I figured you'd be up and I was right. " He smirked.

"Wow, you were that sure of yourself," I said. I shouldn't have blocked you and Adam out the way I did. I guess I was being selfish and only caring about if I got hurt or not." He said sincerely

"I forgive you Elijah," I said, leaning in to him, placing a kiss on his soft lips.

The kiss got more passionate by the second. Before either of us realized it, we were well on our way to going '_all the way'. _

We parted; Eli was the first to speak.

"Are you sure about this, you don't think it's too early?"

I smiled and nodded "More sure that I have ever been,"

The next few hours melted together. It was the most amazing thing that I could ever experience. He was gentle and caring, just like the first time. At that moment, I couldn't have been surer that he was the one I wanted to spend my life with.

_**A/n: Reviews!**_


	6. Fresh Start

Dear Readers,

I want to thank all of you awesome people one more time before I leave. Now don't get all worked up, I'm actually going to be starting my own Dagrassi Fanfiction archive, which I will be continuing my stories on. I hope that I will finish it very soon, so you guys can tell me what you think. If you have any questions, suggestions or comments on anything, don't be hesitant to inbox me!

I hope to be hearing from all of you very soon!


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